An Old Bi'u (house) of Kindness



By Harold Maesulia. Follow me on twitter.

"...I cope with the loneliness by reaching out to others by being a good friend.” Photo: Harold Maesulia.

His house, or Bi’u as they call it in To'obaita, is not the fanciest in the entire village. Constructed with traditional materials in a manner that mirrors most of the houses in the area, there's nothing  extraordinary about his Bi'u. In fact to by passers, his Bi'u would definitely benefit from some kind of renovation just looking at how old some sections of the building appear to be.                                           

But that's not the purpose of this article. I was moved to write about this house because it belongs to an outgoing happy sweet old man, whom I came to call my friend.

Meet David Sefe, a simple yet funny elderly  man in his early 60s from Ngalifasi village in Malu’u. Known to almost everyone in the area as an old man who loves to ignite laughter with his stories, I had the chance to meet him in the December of 2016.

Well Sefe’s son Kevin is one of my best friends. I knew him since 2015 and we’ve been very close friends ever since. Thanks to Kevin, I had the opportunity to meet his charismatic dad when he took me to his village for a 2 weeks holiday.

Life at Sefe’s house will remind you of the simplicity that rural Solomon Islands living has to offer. From being a caring person to giving every single visitor to his home the freedom to feel part of his family, Sefe knows too well how to make visitors to his humble home feel welcome. An icing on top of that hospitality is that loveable character of his to connect with almost everyone using his infamous jokes.

Well Sefe wasn’t expecting Kevin to bring along a friend for that end-of-year break. And on my part, I wasn’t expecting to either meet such a funny old man like Sefe too.

So it was like we were all in for a good surprise. Well it all turned out to be a very exciting holiday after all and a start of a very close friendship with a very charming old man.

 Everything at his place was very basic. We cooked our meals over open fire. Water for cooking was obtained from piped water. He has few pots and pans here and there and some plates and cups which we all gratefully put to good use during our 2 weeks there.

Sefe has been living alone since the early 2000s. He has four sons, and Kevin, my friend, is his third. He once married a woman from Mbaelelea, a neighbouring language group to To'obaita, his language group.

He settled at Ngalifasi after marriage, but decided a few years later to move with the entire family to Guadalcanal, to seek employment. But an ethnic uprising in the late 90s on the island of Guadalcanal forced him and the family to repatriate to Malaita in the early 2000s. 

 Life in the village at that time was so difficult that he had to adjust to the new environment to make ends meet.

But his problems didn’t end there. Soon after settling at home, hurdles beyond his control came up and his marriage had to be annulled.

And sadly, Sefe has been living on his own ever since.

From what I saw, these turmoils did little to dampen the spirit of this old man. People who’ve known him for many years testified of his very loveable character too.

“He’s a very fun person to be around and he’s been that same person since I could remember,” said a very lose friend of Sefe who still finds time to hang out with him today.

And I saw this also during our short stay with him.  Although he told me that he should be in his early sixties now, he didn't know his exact birthday.

He accompanied us to swimming spots whenever we wanted
to beat the sweltering afternoon heat of Malu'u.
Photo: Harold Maesulia.

But Sefe doesn't look his age but he's old enough to say no to walking far distances. But that was not the vocabulary on his lips when we wanted him to take us to places. He accompanied us to swimming spots whenever we wanted to beat the sweltering afternoon heat of Malu'u. He sometimes went with us even to the market, which was about 3 kilometres by feet, to get vegetables.

When the weather is fine, he still paddles his canoe out to sea to try his luck with his fishing rod. And when he returns home, he sometimes roast his day’s catch over open fire or add coconut cream to make a juicy fish stew to go with his usual staple, rice.

And Sefe shares all of this with everyone who is lucky to be present at home at such times.

Sefe no longer has the strength to climb the hills of Malu’u to make a food garden, but he relies on the little money he earns from looking after the residence of a fellow villager, who now resides in Honiara, to buy food.

He obtains rice from the local shops using that money and uses what is left to get sugar and tea-the necessities which he sometimes use to help him stay awake during the evenings to share jokes with the men folk of the village-his friends.

I held my end of that friendship line by trying as much as possible to offer kindness in return to Sefe’s hospitality.

From accepting whatever the family has on the table to helping out with cleaning and other duties around the house, I felt at home doing everything that becomes a norm in his humble home.

Although I felt close to Kevin’s family during the visit, it was not until we got to Auki, on our way to Honiara, that I heard something extra kind from Sefe during a cell phone conversation we had with him, “thanks a lot Kevin and Harold for paying me a visit. I didn’t expect to see both of you. Ku liothau ana kamaroa (I love both of you).”

I could sense a long silence after those words.

It was kind of funny, if you think about it. I said funny because in the Solomons, men don’t normally openly tell other men that they love them, even if they’re close friends.

 But the way Sefe said that was kind of serious, that’s if I read the tone of his voice correctly, and I knew he meant it.

I knew he was delighted to see both of us during our two weeks with him. And what he told us over the phone just confirmed that he enjoyed our company just as much as we enjoyed his.

Well, I forgot to tell you that after his wife left, Sefe took the responsibility of looking after his family upon his own shoulders. Most of his boys were little at that time. But most of them stayed with him for a good number of years.

 But recently, all of his boys had moved to Honiara in search of work. The last of them left around 2014, and his reason was to attend school. So Sefe had to live on his own ever since.

From cooking to washing, he has to adjust himself so that he'd be able to look after himself.

I asked him how he’s coping with the absence of his boys all this time but he smilingly said, “You’ll get used to it. It becomes odd during the first few months but I cope with the loneliness by reaching out to others by being a good friend.”

And he is such a good friend. I could tell that from his parting words to me when we were about to board the truck from Malu’u to Auki, “you’re always welcome to come back whenever you want.”

 We left that day feeling sad. I knew Sefe woud be alone again. But Sefe had his humble Bi’u to return to. We knew he would definitely miss our company. But on that day, I had one wish, and that was for Sefe to find solitude in the quietness of his Bi’u.

I still call old Sefe on my cell phone today whenever I have time for a quick chat. And every time I ask him how he’s doing, he always reminds me of the comfort of his Bi’u. “A’i bo. Ku to bakua la bi’u nau neri. (Not much is happening here. I’m just resting at home)"